


Conturbatio

by Nonlegitatall



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: AU where Martin takes Jon's place when he's kidnapped by Nikola, Angst, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Dismemberment, Do Not Archive, Flaying alive, Hurt/Comfort, Living disembodied skin, M/M, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Spiders crawling out from inside a living body, Torture, living dolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 14:51:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16139528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonlegitatall/pseuds/Nonlegitatall
Summary: Martin takes Jon's place as Nikola's prisoner. It goes badly for everyone involved.Now with very cool art from my treater! Warnings on the art for gore, spiders, and a doll hand.





	Conturbatio

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I've ever written by myself. All the normal warnings that usually come with someone's first fic apply. This is a dark story with gore and torture. I tried to tag everything I could think of, but if I left out an important tag, please politely let me know. This was written throughout season 3 and is an AU, so some stuff is not canon compliant. This is do not archive, please do not mention it or link it to the creators.

Jon had been dropped at the Institute without any warning or explanation after almost a month of capture under Nikola. He had tried to question Elias about his capture and sudden release, but was given the same frustrating non-answers as before and told to continue researching the Unknowing. With nothing more he could do, Jon returned to his work. On the Friday after his return, Jon was called up to Elias’ office. _Has he finally decided to be of some help, or does he just want to spout some cryptic answers and tell me to work harder?_ Jon thought bitterly.

Jon stepped inside and sat down while Elias moved to his desk but remained standing. “Jon, I trust you have been researching a way to stop the Unknowing?”

“Well, yes, but I have made very little head way as I have been given no directions for where or even what to search for.” It was not entirely untrue. Since Nikola had released Jon, Elias had started talking about the Unknowing less, and somehow being of even less help than before. However, most of Jon’s time had actually been spent looking for Martin. Martin had disappeared around the time Jon was released and he had a sinking suspicion that the reason he was free was because of Martin. Elias has been as unhelpful as ever at answering his questions about where Martin was, and the other assistants had has no idea where Martin was. No one has really been paying attention to Martin and so none of the assistants could actually say when Martin had disappeared. A small part of him hoped that Martin was dead. Nikola had held back a bit on punishing Jon because “The Archivist could still be useful in the dance,” as Nikola had explained. He hated to imagine what kind of tortures she would inflict on Martin if she saw him as useless…

Elias interrupted his thoughts with an annoyed huff. “The Unknowing has not been put off for as long as I had hoped. There are 3 weeks until it begins. Nikola won't be postponed anymore. You must stop the Unknowing all together this time. Your and Gertrude’s attempts and failure have cost us far too much time. And yours,” Elias looked pointedly at Jon, “have needlessly cost you a tool that could have been put to better use.”

“Martin was not just a tool to be used! He was a person.” Jon sputtered, flushed with rage. ‘ _Was._ ’ The word rang in his head as he fell silent.

“Yes, he was a person, but people are just tools to be used. Your inability to include and use those around you lead to Martin-”

“Don't you dare!” Jon cut him off. Elias was right, of course, it was Jon’s fault Martin was gone. _Then it was as I had Known, Martin really had been given up to save me. Nikola is free to torture and use Martin and I'm sitting comfortably in the Institute doing nothing to save him._  “Don’t you dare, Elias…”

“- waiting downstairs to give a statement,” Elias finished without pausing for Jon’s outburst.

“You expect me to take statements as if Martin isn't…” _Dead_. He couldn't bring himself to say the word aloud. It felt wrong on his tongue and in his mouth.

“Yes, Jon, I do. You serve the Beholding, your job is to observe and listen.” Elias looked as though he were tired of explaining things to Jon and waved him away. As Jon walked out the door, Elias added in a deceptively serene tone, “Don't fail this time, Jon. The next time, it will cost everyone's lives.”

-

When Jon entered the archives he was still fuming. _How dare he imply that I should treat my assistants as tools?_ He thought. Yet a small part of him still whispered. _If you had taken an approach closer to his, if you had actually talked to Martin, he wouldn't be…_ Even in his mind, it still felt wrong to say that Martin was dead. _You treated him worse than a tool. You contempted him, you pushed him away, you suspected him of murder after he'd been through an extremely traumatic event. You dragged secrets from his mind because of your idiotic paranoia. You abandoned him. You didn't care when he went missing back then, and now here you are again. You managed to care this time, but it's far too late for that._ Jon stopped in front of the door to his office, shaking his head as if to dispel his own thoughts. _The worst thing is, even after all you've done to him, all you've said to him, he still protected you. You would have suffered less than he did, yet he traded himself for you and you've done nothing. You are no closer to stopping the Unknowing. You didn't deserve someone caring about you like that. You've failed again, and now everything he's done for you will be in vain._ The thoughts kept flooding in, and he needed to do something,- anything to stop them. He steeled himself, opened the door to his office, and nearly screamed. Inside, a human sized doll lay face down curled on the floor as if it has just been dropped there. It was naked and he could see the intricate molding and ball joints. _It looks almost human. It almost looks like Martin._

“What are you doing here?” Jon demanded.

There was click as a recorder turned on and slowly, the doll began to move. Its limbs uncurled jerkily as it rose to its feet still facing away from Jon. Once there, it swayed uncertainly.

“...Jon?” a soft, familiar voice called out.

“Who- what are you?”

“Jon, I… I'm sorry.” The doll faced Jon fully and everything about it matched the Martin Jon had known exactly. The way it stood, nervously trying to cover itself, the way it turned its face away, avoiding his eyes. “It’s me, Martin.”

“No, you're one of Nikola’s dolls. Who are you?” he asked again, putting as much compulsion behind the question as he could.

“I really am Martin,” the doll began. “Nikola turned me into one of her mannequins, but…” The doll trailed off trying to hide the horror and pain on it's face. “Please, Jon, it's me. I have nowhere else to go and I know you need information and statements about the Circus. At least let me give a final statement.” The the words spilled out in a rush as the doll began to tremble. It quietly wrung its hands together, but stopped as soon as it saw Jon looking at it. “I- I'm sorry, I know Nikola had you trapped and you probably never want to see another mannequin, but please, just hear me out.”

Jon watched him for a moment. The constant apologies for things he couldn't control and always thinking about how Jon felt first. It appeared to be Martin. _Can people even lie to me when I compel them? I don't think they can, and if this is Martin, I can’t just turn him away. I've hurt him and pushed him away enough. If there is any chance I can make amends for what I've done to him, I have to try._ “Martin, what did I ask you when we were trapped together when Prentiss attacked the Archives?”

“You thought I was a ghost, Jon.” Martin looked confused for a moment. “I still am not, I think. Not a ghost. Please, Jon.”

Jon examined the doll for a moment before saying in what he hoped was a calming voice, “Martin, it's al- I Know it's you. What happened?” He hadn't meant to ask the last part, but the compulsion slipped out of him anyways. The Archivist needed to know what Nikola had done to Martin, as much as Jon wished he could leave it in the dark and never acknowledge that Martin had been changed. He quietly offered his coat to Martin. “Can you do this?” He didn't know why he was still asking Martin for his statement, but taking back his question didn't feel like an option.

“Ye-yes.” Martin took Jon’s coat and wrapped it around himself, hugging it tight.

“Statement of Martin Blackwood, archival assistant at the Magnus Institute, London, about his time captive under Nikola Orsinov. When you're ready, Martin.” It was so easy to slip back into being the Archivist, to pull statements from those around him and knowing what he was doing only made it worse. Martin, for his part, looked relieved.

“I'm sorry I didn't look for you, when… when you went missing again. We all thought you were out getting statements. Elias didn't say anything at first, and I had no idea that you were captured. If I had known, I would have rescued you earlier. I didn't mean to make you wait so long, I'm sorry.,” Martin's words rushed out in a panic. Even changed as he was now, it seemed Nikola couldn't change how much he tried to care for others.

“It wasn't your fault, Martin. Elias purposefully hid the fact that I was captured. Go on.” The comfort Martin tried to offer only felt like salt in a wound. _I don't deserve someone to look after me like this. He should have left me there._ He wanted to stop Martin, to comfort him, but he had no idea how and the Archivist demanded answers.

“After you had been missing for about a week, things in the archives started to fall apart. People came in trying to give statements, and it just... wouldn't work how it used to. One statement giver just up and disappeared in the middle of giving a statement. The day after he disappeared, Elias called me up to his office. He told me that beings who hated the archives had captured you and were going to kill you and destroy the archives and everyone in them. He said that if I went and took your place, that you would be set free and you could stop them from hurting everyone.

“I said that I would take your place, of course. Elias walked me outside to the back of the Institute where two huge men were waiting with an old van. Neither of them spoke, but Elias said that he had someone for the deal and shoved me forward. One of the men tied me up, covered my head, and threw me in the back of the van. I could hear Elias and the two men talking for a while, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Eventually, the men got in and we drove off.

“I must have passed out sometime during the drive. When I woke up next I was in a dark room tied to a chair. There was a light shining on me, but I couldn't see anything else. A silhouette approached me and introduced itself as Nikola Orsinov. It seemed... displeased, even angry maybe. But as it examined me, it seemed to grow more excited. Once it was satisfied with its examination of me, it cheerfully explained that it was going to make me into a very pretty doll for ‘your Archivist.’ ‘Won’t he be so excited,’ it said. The thing leaned down and put its face close to mine and laid a hand on my own.” Martin's body began to heave and tremble as he reflected on Nikola. “It started digging its fingers into my wrist and it kept talking about how nice a doll I would make. Its fingers broke my skin and kept digging in and in until it was completely through my wrist, and then it jerked its hand away tearing mine away with it.” Martin looked like he was about to cry. He shook violently on in his feet and Jon worried he might collapse.

“Please sit down, Martin. I'll get you some tea.” Jon gently placed a hand on Martin's arm and guided him to a chair. As he turned to go make the tea, Martin grabbed ahold of his wrist with surprising strength and continued with distant, scared eyes. The coat slipped from Martin's shoulders, but Martin made no move to grab it.

“I started screaming and it told me that I should save my voice as it was only just beginning. I passed out after that. When I woke up, the place where my hand should be itched and my wrist burned as something dug into it. I tried to move away, but couldn't. I looked down and saw a doll hand attached at my wrist. The place where it joined to my wrist was caked in old blood, but the rest of the hand was new and clean. After a time, a different silhouette brought me food. Eventually, Nikola returned and repeated the process on my other hand. I lost consciousness again and the cycle repeated this time with my forearms, then upper arms, then again with my upper and lower legs, and then my torso."

Martin let out a humourless laugh. “You know, it was almost a relief when she took my head. I thought, maybe, just maybe it would end.” An even darker laugh. “It didn't.”

Jon scrabbled to escape from the hand that gripped his wrist so tightly. He couldn't listen to it anymore. It didn't matter what the Archivist wanted, he couldn't take listening to Martin recount what Nikola had done to him. Martin seemed to be startled out of his story when Jon let out a small sound of fear and distress. He turned his head towards Jon, and slowly, he seemed to focus and realize where he was. “I’m so sorry, Jon. I didn't- I didn’t-” Martin let go of Jon’s wrist and lapsed into a shaky silence, lowering his head. “I'm sorry.”

Jon rubbed his numb wrist until he regained a bit of feeling and laid a gentle hand on Martin’s shoulder. “It’s alright. I'm sorry for forcing it out of you. Statement ends.” He reached for the tape recorder, quietly turning it off. “It's alright, I'll find a way to fix this.” The lie seemed to be too much for Martin to handle and he began to sob.

“Jon- Jon I've lost everything. I lost my home while I was gone. I can never go back and see my mother in this body. I can never face her like this. I can never face anyone like this.” Martin curled in on himself. “As messed up as it is, I've always had this job, and now I don't even know if I have that anymore. I- I know we’re all trapped here and I know you all hate it, but for so long, this has been the only stability in my life. Now Sasha is dead, Tim is… not talking to anyone, and I am a monster.” Martin dissolved into tears, apparently having said all he could.

Jon knelt to Martin’s level and pulled him into a hug. He’d never really been one for physical touches, but it was all he could think of to calm Martin. “Shhh, shhh,” he said softly, running his hand through Martin’s hair. “It'll be alright. Just calm down.” They stayed like that until Martin’s sobs turned into small sniffles and he managed to uncurl himself a little.

“Oh, oh no, I cried all over your jumper,” Martin said, looking down and touching Jon’s jumper.

“It’s fine, let's just get you in some clothes and then we can head to my flat.” Martin quickly drew back, realizing he was still naked and tried to cover himself. Jon smiled a bit. Despite everything, Martin was still Martin. Changed and scarred, yes, but alive and Martin. Jon walked around the desk and pulled a pair of pants and a shirt from the drawer. “These may be a little small, but this is what I have for now.” Martin mumbled a quick thank you as he took the clothes from Jon and began to dress.

The clothes didn't fit right and left Martin looking awkward and uncomfortable. “That will have to do for now, we can find better clothes for you when we get to my flat.”

“We are going to your flat?”

“Yes, I thought… since you had nowhere else to go that you could stay in my flat for now. If that's alright with you.”

A small sheepish grin crept into Martin’s face. “If you're sure it won't be a bother to you. I can stay in the archives again.”

“Of course not, you… you shouldn't stay here. You need somewhere to stay and I can take the couch at my flat,” Jon said, tugging Martin gently along. “I’ll call a cab. I don't think it would be a good idea to walk to my flat. Even if Nikola isn't out there, there's still the matter of…” Jon trailed off, looking at Martin's exposed wrists and hands. _You being a doll._ Martin grimaced as though he could tell what Jon was thinking. _You can't treat him like that, it's not like he isn't in enough pain without you pointing that out._ “My clothes being to small and it being cold out there,” Jon finished awkwardly.

Soon the cab arrived. The driver didn't look at Jon or Martin during the drive, seemingly content to remain silent. Jon kept staring forward or out of the window. Whenever he looked at Martin his eyes were drawn to his joints. The rest of his body seemed like it could pass as human, but the joints stood out starkly, holes and spaces where there should be none. Despite not looking at Martin, Jon could feel Martin fidgeting next to him. Occasionally, Martin would turn to him and open his mouth as if to speak, but would find him looking stubbornly away and close his mouth.

It was a relief to be free of that silent cab when they pulled up in front of Jon's flat. He did a quick check to make sure there was no one following them or waiting to attack as the cab drove away. Satisfied, he fumbled the key into the lock and let Martin and himself in, switching in the lights as he went. “Um, make yourself comfortable?” He tried to make it sound welcoming and happy, but ended up sounding like it was a question. Martin nodded and headed towards the living room. He stopped in front of Jon's desk and seemed to study it, surprised.

“Is this that dog statue I got you for Christmas two years ago?”

“Hmm? Oh, yes, it is,” Jon mumbled, distractedly hanging up his coat.

“You kept it.” The the tone of surprise and wonder made Jon look up. Martin was holding the small statue carefully, smiling at it in such a warm and soft way it made Jon's heart flutter. “I thought you would have thrown it away or sold it. It was a stupid gift and it seemed like you hated it when I gave it to you.” Martin's smile turned a little sad.

“I- I didn't hate it.” Jon muttered lamely. “Anyway, would you like some tea?”

“Ah! Uh… um… yes?” Martin stuttered. Jon rushed off to the kitchen, eager to have something to do with his hands.

“Here, I hope earl grey is alright. I just moved in and I haven't gotten any more teas.”

“Ah, uh, thanks.” Martin clutched the cup close and stood there. Jon stood there awkwardly waiting for Martin to drink. Martin's eyes flitted around, landing everywhere but on Jon.

“Are you going to drink any?”

“Uh… I can't drink. I just said yes because I thought you were going to have some and it would be awkward to say no, but you aren't and I can't drink anything. When she stopped feeding me, Nikola said that drinking and eating were only things humans did.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I guess we should get ready for bed then. It's late and you must be tired from everything. You can take a shower if you’d like while I get you something to wear to sleep. The bathroom is over there and there are towels in there as well.”

“Thanks.” Martin looked desperately grateful for the offer and headed off to the bathroom. Jon wandered into his room to grab some pajamas. He picked out his favourite pair, soft and comfortable from years of use. _I think Martin would like these. I can wear something else for tonight._ Jon folded the pajamas and placed them neatly outside of the bathroom door.

Jon was sitting in the couch watching the telly when Martin walked out. When he heard Martin enter, he turned off the telly and looked at him. “Ah, they fit. I wasn't sure that they would. Let me just go get some blankets from my bedroom, so I can sleep on the couch,” Jon said.

“You can have the bed and I can sleep out here. I won't take your bed from you, you've already been more generous than you needed to just by letting me sleep here tonight.” Martin sounded so determined, so sure that Jon's basic courtesy was more than he deserved. It made guilt settle even more deeply in Jon's stomach.

“No, you won’t sleep on the couch. You've been held and tortured by Nikola for the past week. If you won’t take my bed, then we can share it.” Jon wanted to pretend that he didn't want Martin to accept his offer. That he didn't want to hold Martin close and make sure that he was real, that he was there, and that he wouldn't be gone when Jon woke up.

“Yes please, I don't want to be alone. Sleeping next to you, that might help with the nightmares,” Martin blurted out. He seemed to take a moment to realize that he had spoken aloud and then flushed. “I- uh, um, I'm sorry!” he stammered out. “I, ah, must be more tired than I thought, I’m just… talking nonsense. I should… go to bed now…”

Jon stared at Martin for a moment, shocked by his words. He felt as flustered as Martin seemed. Unable to take Martin's stammering, he cleared his throat. “Yes, yes, we should probably go to bed. You've been through a lot lately.”

They headed to the room and Martin almost immediately collapsed on the bed, exhaustion overtaking him. He shifted slightly to look at Jon as he climbed into bed. “Goodnight, Jon,” Martin whispered.

-

A recorder clicked on. Martin sat across from him, tied to a chair. He seemed barely conscious and blood oozed from his throat. A familiar click of heels approached. Nikola ran her hands along Martin's face, and he jerked feebly.

“Oh, it seems your friend the Archivist is here! How lovely to have an audience. Hello there, Archivist,” she said cheerfully, turning towards him. “I've got your assistant here, he's so loyal. Did you know that? I didn't even have to kidnap him, he volunteered himself to take your place.” He couldn't see Nikola’s face, but he felt the smile in her voice. “I'm going to kill him, you know. Not now, of course, he can still take so much more. He suffers wonderfully, so vocal and expressive. He will make a great dancer!”

Nikola walked around to the back of Martin's chair, giving Jon a clear view of Martin's pale, terrified face. Slowly, she dug her fingers into his neck as he began to scream and convulse. Jon struggled to move, to scream. He felt Nikola’s smile widen and she jerked roughly upwards separating Martin's head from his body. The body continued to seize as she walked around behind Jon. She placed an arm around his chest and slowly brought her other arm around his shoulder, presenting him with Martin's severed head. He closed his eyes and tried to scream.

He jerked awake to the feeling of plastic arms wrapped around him and Martin's face pressed close to his. He pushed the plastic body away violently. It gave a startled yelp as it fell to the floor.

“Jon, what's wrong? What happened?” Martin flailed about on the floor for a few seconds before disentangling himself from the blanket and sitting up. He looked at Jon worriedly. Jon looked down, unable to keep the horror off of his face for a moment. He quickly tried to hide the emotion, but couldn't quite squelch the feeling. _It's Martin. Yes, he's a doll, but he did this to protect you. You can’t allow yourself to be horrified by him, not when you did this to him_. Jon took a steadying breath before slowly offering a hand to Martin to help him up. He cringed slightly at the feel of his plastic hand, but managed to stay still. “Sorry, it was just a nightmare, nothing to worry about.”

Martin picked up the blanket, frowning. He remained standing at the side of the bed. “Do you want to talk about it? Was it about Nikola? I can sleep on the couch if you'd like.” An unidentifiable emotion flitted across Martin's face, but was quickly hidden. Jon reached out to Martin again, taking his hand and pulling him up onto the mattress.

“No, it’s nothing. Just go back to bed.”

“If you say so…” Martin curled tightly in on himself, careful to stay as far from Jon as possible, afraid to touch him and make things worse. Jon sighed. _You have to comfort him. You can't keep pushing him away. He's terrified_. Jon tugged Martin into his arms.

“It’s alright. Go to sleep and tomorrow we can get you settled down here.” Martin shifted so he was facing Jon and nodded softly into his chest. Jon gently rubbed soothing circles into his back. Martin relaxed into Jon slowly. There was no heartbeat or breathing to tell if Martin was still awake. After a while of staying like that, Jon brushed Martin's hair out of his face. His eyes were closed and he had a slight frown on his face, but seemed to be asleep. “I'm sorry, Martin. I'm afraid of your new form, but I know it's you. Just let me get used to this. It will be alright,” he whispered into Martin's hair.

There was a slight shift below him as Martin wrapped his arms around him. “Mm-hmm, good night, Jon. Thank you.” Martin mumbled. Jon tensed. _Was Martin really awake? I didn't mean for him to hear me…_

Jon woke again to an empty bed and the smell of tea. Martin was standing in the kitchen frowning into an empty cupboard. Martin turned to look at Jon as he entered and offered a small smile. “Good morning, Jon.”

“What are you doing, Martin? You can’t-” Jon cut himself off quickly, “you weren't in bed when I woke up this morning.”

“I wanted to make breakfast for you before work, but you have almost no food so I couldn't make anything for you to eat. I did make some tea though. You really do need to get some groceries. It's not healthy to live off of takeout and instant noodles.” Jon took the tea. It was warm and strong, just as he liked it.

“Thank you. I haven't been home often enough to warrant buying much food for here.” _Work? Does Martin even work at the Institute anymore?_ “Did Elias talk to you about your job at all before I saw you?”

“No, you were the first person I saw on returning to the Institute. I still want to work and help in the archives. I would have called Elias to ask, but I don't have a phone anymore.”

“I'll call him and ask, but I think you- we should take the day off either way.” Jon began to pull out his phone.

“No, no, I can work. Nikola said there wasn't much time before the Unknowing and I want to help you stop it in any way I can.”

Jon held up a finger for silence as the phone began to ring. “Hello, Elias, I-” Jon hesitated. _How do I even begin this conversation? ‘I know you threw my assistant to the mannequins, and now he's a monster, but he still wants to work for you’?_

“This is about Martin's job, correct?” Elias supplied. “Usually, I would say that an assistant no longer human could not serve the Archivist. However, with the Unknowing looking on the horizon and the other assistants being rather… adverse to doing their jobs, I can’t waste anyone, no matter how warped they may be.” Jon felt the same fierce anger he always felt at Elias bubble up inside of him. He was glad he decided not to put the phone on speaker and allow Martin to hear. “Martin still has his job.”

“Thank you,” Jon strained out. _As if this is something I should be thanking him for._ “I- we were going to take today off to allow Martin to settle back into normal life.” _As if he could ever return to a normal life._

“You both may take the day off. There's not much time before the Unknowing, but Martin has even less time left. I expect you back at work tomorrow. Both of you.”

“What do you-” Martin was staring intently at Jon, and Jon composed himself. _You can have this conversation with Elias when Martin is not around. There's no need to upset him more._ “Thank you,” he forced out through gritted teeth.

-

The store was crowded, but no one paid them any mind. Jon had found some old clothes of his that Martin could wear. They covered most of him, but were worn almost threadbare. “Jon, you don't have to take me somewhere like this. I'm fine with getting clothes from a charity shop. I don't have enough money to buy new clothes. Nikola took my wallet and credit cards. I don't have enough real money of my own to pay for any of this. My mom’s care… isn't cheap.” Jon eyed Martin for a moment. Even though he knew Martin has had to drop out of school to care for his mother and pay for her care, he'd never really considered the financial burden it must bring.

“It's fine, Martin. You need new clothes before you can go out and about. I have some money saved up, I'll buy you some clothes.” _Martin can’t be seen walking around as a doll, and you don't have enough clothes to fit him until he gets paid again_.

“No, no, I can't ask you to do that Jon! I'll figure something else out!” Martin exclaimed. He looked around quickly to make sure no one heard his outburst before continuing. “Really, it's fine.”

“No, Martin. It's not fine, and where would you even get clothes without money? You do still work in the archives and I doubt Elias would allow you to run around wearing whatever.”

Martin let out a stressed hum. “You're right, but Jon, I can't-”

“It's alright, just let me do this.” _Let me help you._ Martin looked like he was about to argue again, so Jon quickly added, “if it really means that much to you, you can pay me back later.” Martin gave in with a sigh and began to look at the clothes. Martin chose a few cheap jumpers and pairs of pants. “This is all I need.” Jon frowned at the meager choosings, but decided not to argue it.

“You probably need gloves to cover your hands though. You won't be able to keep them hidden in your sleeves.” Jon gestured vaguely to Martin's hands. Martin looked down at his hand for a moment.

“Oh, you're right. I guess I should get a pair of gloves.” They wandered over to the gloves section and Martin picked up a pair of soft leather gloves. He ran his hands over it for a few seconds wistfully before checking the price and putting them down. Jon picked them up again to look at them. They seemed to be well made and good quality and the price reflected that.

“Did you want these?” He he asked offering them to Martin.

“I, uh… no.” It was meant to be a statement, but Martin had never been a good liar and it came out as more of a question.

“I can get these for you, it's no trouble.”

“I really can't justify getting those. They're more than I need, Jon.”

“But you like them? Then let me get them for you, as a gift.”

“No, I mean, yes I like them, but no, I can't ask for them,” Martin nearly yelped. “I don't need something that nice. I'm fine with these.” Martin picked up a far cheaper woolen pair.

“I… want to get you something nice. Um, I mean you do a good job, and… you've done quite a lot for me. Just let me get these for you.” Martin looked like he wanted to run away.

“No, you've already done enough for me, you don't have to.”

Jon sighed. He was getting nowhere arguing with Martin. “Fine, give me the gloves you want and I'll go pay for the clothes while you head over the shoe store and start trying on shoes. I'll meet you over there.” Martin nodded and handed over the gloves before walking off. When Martin was out of sight Jon put down the woolen gloves, picked up the leather ones, and went to go pay. Shoe shopping went off without a hitch. Both he and Martin agreed that Martin couldn't keep wearing Jon’s shoes and they found a suitably cheap but durable pair for Martin.

When the reached home that night after all the shopping was done, Jon pulled out the pair of gloves. “Here, I got these for you.”

Martin sighed. “Jon, you didn't have to. I asked you not to.”

“I wanted to buy these for you. Besides I've already bought them so there's no use in arguing now.” Jon handed the gloves over to Martin. He looked at Jon, unsure of how to react, before taking the gloves and putting them on. Once they were on, he made a small hum of contentment and smiled. “Do you like them?”

“They kind of make me feel a little bit more human and less like some kind of monstrous doll.” Martin looked up with a soft tearful smile. “Thanks.”

-

At work the next day, no one seemed to notice that Martin was different. Melanie was withdrawn and only briefly greeted Martin and Tim bitterly commented on Martin not being able to escape the institute either. Basira seemed to be the only one to take any interest in Martin's return, asking him about what had happened. The day passed normally, or as close to normal as it could be, but Jon couldn't keep the nagging worry out of his head over something Elias has said. Come the end of the day, Jon marched up to Elias’ office and knocked loudly in the door.

“Come in.”

Jon didn't bother with pleasantries, instead demanding, “Why did you say Martin didn't have much time left?”

“He doesn't. He can be used in the Unknowing and I can't allow that. He will work until such a time that it becomes more dangerous to have him around than good he does and then he will be killed. If something else doesn't get him first.”

“What?!” Jon yelled, shocked again at Elias’ casual cruelty. “He won't help Nikola with the Unknowing. Martin is not like that.”

“No, Martin is not like that. However, the Stranger escapes my vision for now, and it is likely that they put measures in place to control Martin.” Jon sputtered. He hadn't considered that possibility. _You were so happy to see Martin, you never considered all Nikola could have done to his body without you knowing._ Jon’s mouth was suddenly dry.

“He… won't. Nikola can't control him.”

“Do you Know that Jon?”

“No, but-”

“I won't take any chances with this, Jon. However, if you manage to stop the Unknowing and destroy Nikola before Martin becomes a liability, I will not harm him. That should be enough to keep you sufficiently motivated to keep focused on stopping the Unknowing rather than hovering over Martin.” Jon couldn't speak. _You have less than 3 weeks to stop the Unknowing and even less time to save Martin from what you've done. Can you even do this?_ Jon thought as he nodded slightly. “Good,” Elias said in way of dismissal.

Jon walked numbly to the archives. Martin was still sitting at his desk looking through a pile of statements. He looked up at the sound of Jon's footsteps, offering a forced smile. “None of these statements seemed to be related to the Unknowing. A few ones seemed like they could have been the circus, but they didn't pan out.” Martin paused, noticing how pale and tense Jon was. “Jon, is everything alright?” Jon nodded stiffly.

“We can look for more statements tomorrow. Let's go home now.” His voice came out slightly shaky and choppy. Martin frowned and stood up, placing a hand on Jon's arm.

“It’s okay, there have to be statements here that will help us stop the Unknowing. We will find them, and then this will be done. What's wrong?”

Jon shook his head again. “Let’s go home.”

-

The tube ride home was uneventful, though Martin kept glancing worriedly at Jon. Jon headed off to change out of his work clothes as soon as they got home. _He has to know. It's his life at stake and you can't keep trying to hide things from him_ , Jon thought as he changed into some comfortable clothes, trying to steady himself and beat back the panic that had been welling in his chest since his talk with Elias. When Jon felt as calm as he could get, he steeled himself and walked out to confront Martin.

Martin was standing in the kitchen fussing over dinner. Jon watched him for a few seconds, feeling a wave of affection for the other man wash over him. Martin looked up and stared at Jon quietly, expression unreadable. “Hey, dinner is ready.” His voice was soft and almost hesitant. Martin sat across from Jon as he ate, no plate or cup in front of him. He seemed content to just watch Jon quietly. Eventually Jon braced himself and spoke. “Martin… I- I talked to Elias today.” Jon cleared his throat, trying to delay the inevitable. “I… don't have as much time to stop the Unknowing as I thought. Elias says...” Martin leaned forward, concern etched in his face. “Elias says that if I don't stop the Unknowing well before it begins, he'll- he'll-”

“Kill me?” Martin supplied. “I know, he spoke to me about it today.” Martin rested his hand on Jon's, rubbing small circles into the knuckles. Jon looked down, taking Martin's hand in his own.

“I don't know if I can stop this. I don't know how,” Jon whispered, more to himself than Martin.

“I'll help you. We can explain what's happening to Tim and Melanie and Basira and I'm sure they'll help too. You don't have to push us away. We’ll help stop the Unknowing.” Martin's face looked scared and sad. “I know the others will help.”

 _He's just as terrified as you are, and yet he's still trying to be the strong one and comfort you. You can’t let him always be the one doing the comforting._ “You're right, Martin. I know the others will help. Tomorrow, I’ll tell them and we will make a plan to stop this.” Jon forced a smile. He rose to clean up his dishes. “Why don't you go shower and then we’ll head to bed.”

-

As they laid in bed that might, Martin curled tightly around Jon in sleep, Jon found himself wishing that life could stay this way. _Just here. Living with Martin, no Institute, no Unknowing, no dolls. Just us, living in a flat and sharing life. No need to worry about him being killed._ Jon shifted until he could embrace Martin and squeezed him, tighter and tighter, as thoughts and wishes for what could be flooded his head.

-

They headed into work early the next day to talk to the assistants. Thankfully, Tim was there slowly moving statements from box to box. “Tim,” Martin called out. Tim turned and his face darkened as he saw Jon. “Tim, we, uh, wanted to talk to you and all the others. About what's happening,” Martin continued. “Are Melanie and Basira in?”

“Yeah.”

Martin waited for Tim to say more, but nothing seemed forthcoming. “I guess I'll go find them and we can meet back here?”

Melanie and Basira were sitting in the breakroom and followed Martin and Jon back into the main archives without protest. Martin hovered awkwardly when everyone was gathered. “Um, there’s a doll. She calls herself Nikola, and she captured Jon.” Martin hesitated again. The other assistants gave him blank and confused looks. “She can turn people into dolls, and, uh, I think she's gonna... do that...?” Martin looked at Jon for help.

 _You never explained any of this to him either. All he knows is what Nikola said to him._ Jon realized with a start. “There are powers that influence this world. One of them is the Stranger. Part of that power, the Circus, wants to bring their “god” closer to this world in an event called the Unknowing. It will end the world as we know it and I- we need to stop it. The leader of the Circus, Nikola, skins people to use as costumes for the dancers in her dance and turns people into dolls to be used in the dance. We need to find a way to stop the dance to bring about the Unknowing,” Jon finished.

Melanie nodded, seemingly too focused on her own thoughts to give any real answer. “I read something about this. She needs an ancient skin to complete the ritual, right?” Basira asked.

Jon looked at her, surprised. “Yes, she does, but I believe she can make do with… another skin.”

“Nikola kidnapped Jon, but Elias traded me for him. She sent me back to demand Jon find the skin and bring it to her before the Unknowing or she'd resort to other means.” Martin hesitated and continued in a small voice, “She turned me into a doll.” He pulled back his gloves and rolled up his sleeves a to reveal the ball joints and plastic skin beneath. Melanie reacted with a small gasp and her eyes narrowed in fresh anger. Basira seemed slightly shaken for a moment before composing herself. Tim looked livid. He surged forward and grabbed Martin's exposed arm roughly, examining it.

“Were there others there?” He hissed through his teeth. “Other dolls dressed in skins?”

Martin tried to pull away, but Tim’s grip only tightened. “Tim?” Martin asked fearfully. Tim shot Jon an icy glare as he began pulling Martin towards the nearby office. “Tim, what are you doing?”

“I need to ask you questions about what happened, and I don't want Jon, that damned recorder, or Elias to have any part in hearing the answers.” Martin glanced helplessly back at Jon before following Tim into the office.

An hour passed with Jon talking with Basira about what she had read about it. Melanie wandered off sometime after Tim and Martin left. Most of what Basira said was stuff Jon had already found out through chasing statements. When Martin returned he looked shaken and upset. Tim headed out of the archives with a determined, angry expression. “I- I think Tim has seen part of the Unknowing. And I think he knows where it's going to take place.” The rest of the day passed in a blur of activity searching for leads on the Circus and its stage. For the first time since he had started trying to stop the Unknowing, Jon felt hope. _We could stop this, we have leads and we know where it is._

An hour before work ended, Elias called Martin up to his office. “Let me go with you,” Jon said, remembering Elias’ threats.

Martin forced a small smile. “It will be fine. Stay here and keep looking for a way to stop the Unknowing.” Martin left quickly before allowing Jon to protest. When Martin returned it was almost a full hour later. He seemed drained and there was a grimace of pain on his face. “Martin,” exclaimed Jon, standing immediately. “What happened?”

“Nothing.” He stood for a moment waiting for a reply. “Let's just go home. Please,” he added when Jon didn't reply.

-

Martin’s pain and discomfort didn't seem to have lessened by the time they got home and he stumbled to bed as soon as the front door was open. “Are you alright, Martin?” Martin nodded into the pillow.

“I'll be alright, just go make yourself dinner. I'm going to rest.” He seemed to try to suppress a shudder before lowering his head back to the pillow.

As soon as dinner was made and cleared up, Jon headed to the bedroom and climbed into bed next to Martin. He had fallen asleep, but shifted closer to Jon as he lay down. Jon hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms around Martin's sleeping form. Martin seemed to relax at that. Jon’s hand brushed over Martin's stomach and he felt a slight groove that wasn't there before. He ran his hands over the groove again with a little more force and Martin's stomach seemed to shift slightly as the groove grew. He debated waking Martin to ask about it, but decided against it as he remembered how exhausted Martin had looked after coming back from Elias’ office.

-

The next few days were filled with false leads and little progress, but at the end of the week, Tim brought a book to Martin and Jon. It was handwritten and many pages near the end were torn out. “What is this?” Martin asked after flipping through it.

“A book on Smirke’s architecture. Some of the buildings I've never seen in any other works in Smirke, but I recognized this one. It looks like the stage under Covenant Garden, but the map says it is here.” He pointed to a map of London he had set on the table nearby. “Under a wax museum.” Tim pointed to a map before he flipped through the section before the missing pages. It showed a large stage with vaulted ceilings facing an audience of statues. “Each building has a section of writing on it. It seems that a power opposing the Unknowing could collapse the ceiling on the stage, and destroy the dance.”

Jon leaned forward and examined the pictures. “How?”

“There’s a stone that bears the brunt of the weight of the ceiling. If it's removed, part of the ceiling would collapse.” Tim gestured to a diagram. "We could go there now and get it done with."

“The stone has to be removed during the dance, otherwise it can be relocated.” There was silence as the words sank in.

“So… we have to wait for the Unknowing to happen.” Martin broke the silence. He sounded scared and yet somewhat resigned. “What do we do now?”

“We think of a plan. Thank you, Tim. Gather the others.”

When they were all assembled in the main archives, Jon quickly explained Tim’s findings. “You have all been a great help, but I cannot ask you to do this for me. I will go into the dance and remove the loadstone.”

Tim’s eyes seemed to light up in anger at that. “I will tear that mannequin to pieces for what she did to my brother. I'll remove the loadstone.”

“Nikola would kill you before you even got close. She… said I could be useful in the dance. I'm the only one she might allow to get close enough to get to the stone.” Jon hesitated before continuing in a quieter voice, “Besides, we don't know if the person who removes the stone will be able to make it out alive.”

“You aren't the only one who can do this! She turned me into a doll. I think she means to use me in the dance. I can get on stage during the dance without raising any alarms,” Martin interrupted. “Let me do this, both of you are too- I won’t let you get hurt like... this.” He gestured to his body. Tim considered Martin quietly before grudgingly muttering that he may be right.

Jon, however, immediately began to protest.“No, you can't do this-”

“I can’t let you do this either!” Martin shouted. He looked as if he wanted to cry. “Please. Jon, if you die, everything I did was in vain…”

Jon opened his mouth to reply, but quickly closed it again. _He's right. He did this for you. All this pain for you and you still can't save him._ “We- we'll find another way.” Even as the words left his mouth, Jon knew there was no other way. “I won’t die. I won’t… go into the dance.” From the way Martin looked at him, it seemed that they both knew he was lying.

-

As they lay curled in bed that night, Martin was silent and tense. Jon didn't know how to comfort him, but longed to somehow reach out and convince Martin that everything would be alright. To tell him everything that bubbled up inside of him as he looked at Martin, the protectiveness, the guilt, the fear that one day he would lose this, the knowledge of just how far he would go to protect Martin, the love and sadness that welled up and threatened to choke him. “Martin…” he started. Unable to figure out how to continue, he laid his hand on Martin's shoulder. “Thank you,” he finally settled on. It did nothing to even begin to express how he was feeling towards Martin, but he lacked the words. “I'm so sorry,” he tried. He repeated over and over as though it could protect Martin, undo the pain that had been done to him. Martin hugged Jon tightly.

He shook as he began to cry, all the fear and pain catching up to him again. “I'm sorry too.”

They fell asleep like that, curled tightly around one another.

-

Jon awoke in the dark to the feeling of an empty bed. He looked around desperately in the dark, trying to find Martin, before his eyes settled on a figure at the foot of his bed. He opened his mouth to ask what Martin was doing. The voice that rang out from the figure was not Martin's. A high and amused tone.

“Why hello, Archivist, so good of you to finally join us.” Jon tried to scream or struggle, but his body wouldn't respond. “We need to get you both ready for the Unknowing. You have not been taking very good care of your skin since we released you. We will have to start all over again.” Jon's vision was clouded. He couldn't move and he could barely think as strong arms lifted him.

-

When he came to again, he was back in the dark room filled with wax figures and bound to a chair like the first time Nikola had caught him. His skin felt soft and almost loose where his wrists were tied behind him. _How long have I been out? What did they do to me?_ He groaned and tried weakly to lift his head. He felt like he was moving through syrup, every movement difficult and slow. He scanned the room around him, trying to make out anything in the darkness. His breath caught on his throat as he noticed the body laying in a heap across from him. “M- Martin?” Jon called out. The familiar click of Nikola’s footsteps rang out as Jon spoke, silencing him.

“Oh, don't stop speaking on my behalf, Archivist. Go on, he can hear what you are saying.” Nikola walked around and roughly dragged the body up by the hair. It was unmistakably Martin, but he looked pale and fake. Almost lifeless except for his eyes, which shone with fear. He didn't respond even when Nikola roughly jerked his body to his knees and dropped him back down. Nikola gave a displeased tut as he slumped forward again. “Come now, you can’t watch the show if you won’t look at it!” She dragged Martin up again and placed him so he was kneeling and looking at Jon. “Now that you're awake, Archivist, we can finally begin getting you ready for the Dance.” She grabbed Martin's chin tilting his head up to look at her. “He's been waiting so patiently for you to wake up so we can make his costume.” A high pitched whine rang out from Martin. “You know that won’t work, Martin. I made you a doll and I can control you. You know cannot move until your costume is ready. Now be quiet, you'll ruin the show.”

Seemingly satisfied that Martin wouldn't be making anymore noise, Nikola walked around behind Jon. There was a sharp pain on the top of his skull and for a moment, he couldn't understand what it was. Then it began to slide down his back along his spine. She's cutting me open so she can peel me! Jon tried to jerk and look around wildly, but Nikola grabbed his throat and began to squeeze. “Don't move, we wouldn't want my hand to slip and cut you up. You wouldn't make nearly as pretty a costume then.” Jon stilled as his lungs began to burn for air and she gentled her hold, leaving her hand there as a warning.

Pain radiated out from the slice she was making in his back. He felt strangely disconnected from his body, as though he was feeling someone else's pain. He remained silent, unable to make his body move to scream or produce sounds. Nothing seemed to work and he watched Nikola cut lower and lower. When she reached low enough, she withdrew the knife and cut his hands free before pushing him onto the floor. She stood up and walked over to where Jon was watching himself. As she tilted and readjusted him so he could see himself fully again, he saw the jointed doll hands clasped in where his lap should be. At the same time, he saw his own body laying face down with blood slowly trickling from a cut. _What? Am I… in Martin's body?_

Nikola walked back around and kneeled over Jon's body again as she resumed her work. When she finished the cut, she set down her knife and wiped her brow as though she had been sweating. “Well, that's the easy part done. Now comes the fun part!” She picked up a smaller knife that he hadn't hadn't noticed before. Its blade was curved down to a slightly blunt point and it was sharpened on only one side. She held it up in front of his- Martin’s- face, turning it so it caught the dim light and he could see all of it. “I’m going to peel him now!” Nikola exclaimed cheerfully.

The first thrust of the blade beneath his skin brought Jon fully back into himself. The pain was so much worse than he had imagined. He screamed. Jude’s fire had felt like there could be no greater pain. _But Jude Perry’s fire had a point at which it could go no further. Nikola will not stop until you are dead and your body is peeled clean._ He tried to writhe away from the pain beneath his skin and felt it stretch and pull away from his body. The ripping of his skin away from himself was worse than the clean slices of Nikola’s blade and he stilled quickly. Nikola hummed happily at that and continued.

He didn't know how long it went on until she moved him to a sitting position and began to slowly peel his skin completely off of him. All he knew was that he could no longer scream or even think through the pain as she worked it off of him, the head and back first, turning it inside out as she peeled it off. The longer he sat, the more the pain began to fade as though he was no longer in himself. He looked silently on as Nikola finished her work, turned his skin right side out, and held it up for Martin to admire.

“Look, I've peeled your Archivist and doesn't he look beautiful? He'll fit perfectly,” Nikola chirped while she stood and walked a little ways away. “We can't have you wearing a dirty costume, so we simply must wash this blood off from inside him,” she called back.

Martin felt growing hysteria. “ _Oh god, she did it, she peeled him, and now she's going to make me wear him- wear Jon!_ ” Martin’s voice screamed in his head. Nikola returned soon and began slipping Martin into Jon's skin. Jon felt the press of plastic against and under his skin, the pain of all the severed nerves being forced to feel again. He felt the stretch and pull as his skin was forced onto a frame unlike his own. It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense anymore. He wanted to scream. He wanted to sob.

Nikola was talking behind him as she sewed him shut tightly around Martin. Her words sounded garbled and far away. Soon she seemed to grow bored of trying to talk to Martin and left them alone. Martin slowly curled in on himself and Jon felt himself nearly catch on some of the ball joints as they moved. Tremors like sobs began to wrack Martin's body. No tears fell. It seemed that in this almost complete and motionless doll form Martin could not truly cry no matter what happened. A litany of ‘ _Jon'_ s, ‘ _please_ 's, and apologies fell from Martin’s mouth.

Jon wanted desperately to comfort Martin, to tell him that he would be okay, even if it was a lie. _"Martin, it's not your fault. This isn't your fault,"_ Jon thought.

Martin gasped. “J- Jon?” Martin’s voice trembled.

_"Did he hear me?"_

“Jon, I can-” Martin fell silent.

_"Am I inside Martin’s head? Can he hear my thoughts?"_

Words rushed into his head. “ _No, Jon can't be alive, not after what she did to him._ ”

“ _I think I am alive,_ ” Jon thought. “ _In at least some sense of the word,_ ” he added dryly. He took a moment to process the feelings flowing through him. It was unsurprising to find that there was pain on the inside of his skin, pain in places of his body he no longer had. It thrummed through him in the rhythm of a heart that sat without a pulse within the skinless body laying in front of him. But as he focused he could feel other things. His thoughts felt as though they were touching a soft, thin wall they could easily push through. After a moment, a thought pushed through from the other side, sliding past his own thoughts and settling in his mind.

“ _Jon,_ ” the thought repeated. When he focused it was easy to tell that this was Martin's thought, Martin's mind, separated from him by the thin wall. “ _Are- are you in your skin?_ ”

“ _Yes… I think I'm alive in my skin only, but I can hear and see._ ” Jon's thoughts came slower and harder to push through as the pain flared up.

Martin moved to stroke his hands over Jon's skin to comfort him. _“Jon, I'm so sorry. I didn't want this. I didn't know she would come back to kidnap you. I didn't know she would use you in the Unknowing, I thought if I let her use me you’d be safe. I never should have gone back to the archives or gone to your home!_ ” Dozens of other thoughts writhed around and over each other on the other side of the wall. Half formed apologies and empty comforts.

“ _It's not your fault, Martin. I knew I had to stop the Unknowing and I couldn't. I'm sorry you had to pay the price for my failure as well._ ”

“ _We can still stop it. I knew I would be used in the Unknowing so I made preparations to stop it based on what Tim found in the book._ ”

“ _How?_ ”

“ _You won’t like this, but Elias suggested making a deal with the spiders… to bring them onto the stage of the Unknowing and then helping them to remove the loadstone. They've let me keep some of my own will when Nikola tried to control me. I'm so sorry, Jon. She tried to make me skin you but I wouldn't and the spiders let me resist her. She made me watch then, watch her skin you. I couldn't move, I couldn't help! I should have been able to help, to save you!_ ” Martin's thoughts began flowing through the wall in an unintelligible jumble as he grew more distressed. They almost overwhelmed Jon with their intensity, but Jon held onto the physical pain he felt to ground him.

“ _It's not your fault. Please…_ ” He didn't know what he was even asking for, but Martin's thoughts retreated into his own head and they sat in silence. “ _Did it hurt this much when she… took you apart? Did it ever stop hurting?_ ” He hadn’t meant to compel or to think that at all, but even as he was, the need to Know and to See still sat deep within him.

“ _It hurt. It hurts so much and it never stops or gets any better. Every moment since she started taking me apart has hurt as much as the first moment and more._ ” The confession sounded resigned, like Martin had long since accepted that it would always hurt that way.

“ _Why didn't you tell me?_ ” Even as he thought it he knew what a stupid question it was. Martin would never want to worry Jon, or to give him another thing to feel guilty about even if he deserved it. They lapsed into silence again.

Eventually Martin broke the quiet. “ _I guess I should let the spiders out so they can begin their work._ ”

Jon was confused for a moment. “ _How did-_ ” Jon stopped as he felt a small tickle begin under his skin. The feeling began to slowly grow, thousands of tiny legs brushing against the inside of his skin as the spiders crawled out of and away from them. They scattered in every direction into the dark. Jon wanted to scream or to run, but could only sit there as the crawled in and over his skin. He could feel Martin trying to send comforting thoughts into him, but his mind was too ablaze with panic to make anything out. Jon barely noticed when the spiders stopped crawling over him The phantom tingle of legs stayed for a while after.

Martin’s voice slowly began to cut through the haze of panic. “ _It's alright. The spiders are gone now._ ”

“ _What, what was that? Why were there spiders in you?_ ” Jon thought panickedly.

“ _Elias made a deal-_ ”

“ _I know that, but why were they in there?_ ”

“ _They needed a vessel to carry them onto the stage of the Unknowing. This- my body is hollow. He cut me open so they could have a safe way in._ ” Martin gently pressed on his stomach and Jon felt the groove there shift.

“ _You meant it when you said that you'd be the one to remove the loadstone._ ” It wasn't so much a question as a resigned statement.

“ _Yes, I couldn't let you, or Tim, or any of the others do this. Chances are they would have to be… changed by both Nikola and the spiders in order to make this work and even then they might not make it out. I wanted to protect everyone. I wanted to protect you._ ”

“ _Martin, you don't have to be the one to protect everyone all the time._ ” Martin's words stung at the guilt within Jon. Almost without meaning to, Jon pushed a thought through. “ _Why, why would you protect me after all I've done?_ ”

" _Because I love you. I have for a long time and it never mattered if you cared for me or even noticed me. I wanted you to be happy, even if I was gone. I wanted you to be safe.,_ ” Martin slowly spoke, trying to resist the compulsion.

Jon was speechless for a few seconds. So many small moments fell into place. “ _Martin, I-_ ” he hesitated. “ _I think I love you too._ ” He felt warmth and a small happiness wash over him from Martin's mind as the same feelings grew within him.

They stayed like that, basking in each other's warmth until Nikola’s approach brought them back to reality. Martin immediately went still and silent. “Hello, assistant. Hello, Archivist,” Nikola chirped. She took a moment, seeming to relish in her words. “Oh, that’s right Martin, your Archivist is still alive in his skin you're wearing! The Watcher couldn't bear to not see the Unknowing.” She seemed to wait for a reaction from Martin.

“ _She doesn't know,_ ” Jon thought with a sudden certainty. As soon as he thought it, Martin seemed to catch on that Nikola expected him to react with surprise.

“N-no,” Martin managed to stutter out.

Nikola seemed disappointed at the subdued reaction, but continued with her speech. “There's so much left of your Archivist, but don't worry. We’ll use all the parts.” Nikola picked up Jon’s skinless body, which Martin had avoided looking at too closely. She dragged it closer and turned Martin's head to look at it. “It will really pull together some of the costumes for the Unknowing.” She laughed as if she had just made a joke. “Maybe, if we’re lucky, it can be used to help make costumes for your friends. Your friends must be looking for you. I wonder if they'll get here in time to join the Unknowing. What do you think, Archivist?”

Jon felt a wave of relief wash over him. “ _She doesn't have the others. They aren't dolls here._ ” Jon could feel Martin’s desire for the others to never find them, to never be warped as he and Jon had been.

Nikola walked away for a moment to hand Jon's peeled body to a pair of dolls standing nearby. She returned with a bottle. “You'll want to keep the Archivist soft, Assistant. He can feel every movement and we wouldn't want him to rip during the dance, do we?” She didn't wait for a reply before thrusting the bottle into Martin's hands. “I have to get ready for the dance myself. Take care of the Archivist,” she said as she walked away, gesturing at nothing.

Jon felt Martin shudder. “ _I think that was her trying to control me. She doesn't seem to have noticed the spiders or that they let me keep control of myself._ ” Martin though to Jon. “ _She may be right though, we don’t want you to rip when we escape._ ” Martin examined the bottle for a moment before pouring some of the lotion into his hand. The lotion smelled vaguely woodsy with cloves mixed in. The odor was unpleasant, but not overwhelming.

-

Time passed in a place where it meant nothing. Jon and Martin talked of everything and nothing. Jon told Martin about growing up with his grandma and his fear of spiders, and Martin talked about his mom and why he had to put her in a home. He talked of his dreams before his mother had fallen ill, what he would have liked to do if he had been able to continue his studies. Jon felt longing, both his and Martin's, for Martin to have had a better life, to have never have been bound to the Institute. They traded stories about events big and small and shared their thoughts on the powers and the world around them. Neither of them could sleep and the only way Jon could keep measure of time was by Martin's application of lotion whenever Jon would dry out. And so time passed.

After who knew how long, Nikola returned. She wore a wrinkled skin with 3 holes in the chest. It seemed to be in worse condition than the skins the other dancers wore, and Jon vaguely wondered whose skin it had been. She lead them through a maze of wax figures, to the center of a large stage. Around them stood the other dancers, posed and motionless. Nikola took her spot at exactly center stage and the music began.

Things became harder to follow. There was a discordant singing from somewhere and a calliope echoed through the theater. Martin moved to the beat of the broken music. The seats facing the stage were filled with figures. Sometimes they seemed to be watching, enraptured by the dance. Sometimes when Jon looked out to the crowd, there was nothing.

Around him, dancers swirled in a blur of rainbows and flesh tones. It was strangely beautiful to see and Jon found himself lost in the dance and the beautiful, discordant, broken music around him until Martin’s thoughts broke the trance. _“Jon, look, the spiders._ ” Jon managed to break his eyes from the dance and look to the ceiling. It was covered in dark moving shapes. Near the center of the stage the shapes were making a thing strand of shining web. “ _We need to get up there to remove the loadstone._ ” Martin turned and began to run towards the strand of web, the earlier grace gone from his body. Jon searched the faces of the dancers to see if he would recognize any of them. None of them seemed familiar. Even Nikola seemed to have disappeared into the swirling mass.

Martin paused at the web and glanced around. “ _No one is after us? They seem to be still dancing. Maybe they can't stop once it begins and that's why it's tied to its location once it starts._ ” For the first time since Jon had been placed on Martin, he felt hope flutter in his chest.

“ _Could we really get away?_ ”

Martin grabbed a hold of the web and quickly began to climb. Below them the Dance of the Unknowing continued. The individual dancers were lost, blurred into the chaotic whole. They reached the top and Martin fixed his eyes on a stone next to the web that stuck out slightly from the other stones. Jon felt Martin steel himself. “ _Once this is removed the ceiling will begin to collapse. We should be able to crawl through and put into the museum and, if we're fast, we might be able to get out before the building collapses._ ” As Martin began to pull the stone out, the Dance turned to a frenzy below. When the stone was finally free, he dropped it and forced himself through the hole as it began to close and the ceiling came down.

Outside, the world was almost as distorted as it has been inside. There were no humans to be seen, only twisted metal and plastic molded into mockeries of suffering. Creatures whose limbs bent in impossible ways moved far more quickly than their jerky movements and bodies should allow. Around them, the world continued shifting even as the shrieks of the skinless choir and the rainbow dancers rang out through the night. “ _Did it work?_ ” Martin thought desperately.

The first creature reached Martin, grabbing him with surprising strength and twisting his arms painfully behind his back. It began to force Martin towards the museum. He tried to struggle out of the thing’s grasp or to stop it, but it only twisted his arms harder and lifted him from the ground. “ _It had to have worked,_ ” Jon projected with more confidence than he felt. The creatures ceased all their movement suddenly. It felt as though the world let out a breath it has been holding. The screams had gone silent. Everything snapped back into place. Twisted figures of metal and plastic returned to forms of flesh. The creatures that held Martin dropped him as they returned to the forms they originally had.

Martin looked up from where he had been dropped. “ _No, no! We stopped it, these people should not be hurt, they should be alive!_ ” The ground around Martin and Jon was covered in blood. Now that the bodies were flesh once more, the damage done to them during the Unknowing was obvious. Many were missing limbs or had them broken out of place, the twisting and melting of their metal forms apparent in their bodies. Martin dropped his eyes to the ground in front of him again as a wave of nausea washed over him. Jon sat upon Martin's frame, silent in his horror.

“ _How far does this destruction go?_ ” Martin forced himself quickly to his feet. The movement pulled dangerously on Jon, a bit of him becoming trapped in a ball joint. The pain felt strangely distant. " _When did it stop hurting so much?_ " Jon thought. Martin ignored his question and began to stumble away from the ruined building. He only made it a few steps before collapsing again. The jolt of pain as he scraped against the rough sidewalk barely registered in Jon. His thoughts felt far away and slow. “ _Martin?_ ”

“ _Jon?_ ” Martin thought back. At first it didn't register as being Martin who had had the thought. Every thought seemed to flow through both of them regardless of whether they meant it to or not. The barrier between their minds was becoming weak and Jon felt a wave of panicked sadness come over him. “ _Jon is going to die, please, please, no!_ ” repeated in his head.

“ _Martin, Martin, it's alright. It will be okay!_ ”

Martin tried to drag himself to his feet again but couldn't seem to make his body move how he wanted.

“ _He's protected in the Archives, isn't he? I need to get him to the Archives, I can't let him die._ ” Martin thought desperately, ignoring Jon’s every attempt at comfort, instead trying to force his body to obey. As his body began to respond less and less, his thoughts became more panicked.

“ _Martin!_ ” Jon put as much power into the words as he could. Martin stilled. His body shook slightly as though sobbing, but he didn't struggle to stand again. “ _Martin, I'm sorry it turned out this way. I really wanted to be able to go back home again with after the Unknowing, to just try to live as we are, but-_ ” He felt as though he could cry. “ _It wasn't meant to turn out this way. You were meant to be safe, you weren't supposed to be turned into a doll and suffer because of me. You weren't- none- none of this should have happened. I'm sorry._ ”

“ _Jon..._ ” The thought was faint. “ _It's not your fault. I chose to take your place when Nikola kidnapped you. I don't regret it._ ”

Jon felt lighter, the words far away and weak. Every thought that moved through his head slipped away from him as he tried to grasp it. Martin’s shuddering subsided to only a weak tremor. A few wisps of thoughts drifted through Jon's head.

“ _I love you._ ”

A surge of fear and overwhelming sadness broke through the fog in Jon's mind. _Martin, I love you. Please get up._

Martin was silent and still.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Emmy for the beta. Here is the art from my treater, http://playfullyevil.tumblr.com/post/178776158035/the-magnus-archives-big-bang-treat-for-conturbatio


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